I do whatever I want, whenever I want
Today, I am off work and I am feeling into what I want to do. I want to work on my business and myself and I want to spend time with my partner.
I personally am a multi-passionate being and I know I am not alone with that. I find it hard to find priorities and stick to them. All the things I want to do seem important. Writing a post, reading a book, doing yoga, meditation, cooking, tidying, making music, spending time with Juan, replying to messages, calling a friend or a family member, recording a video, a meditation or a podcast.
There has been a time when I have been beating myself up for not accomplishing all of those things. I listened to the personal development gurus who told me that time management, scheduling and planning were so important.
I believe this is true for some people and I believe for me it is not. Yes, when we are working on a project, a business, when we are working towards a goal we need to push through things and do things that are uncomfortable.
The things I am mentioning I want to do though are going towards a common goal. I am creating a life that I love, doing what I love, manifesting my dream.
I am recently learning more about Human Design and as a projector with a splenic authority, I am learning to allow myself to listen to my intuition more, checking in with what I want right now.
It’s driving Juan crazy that I am changing my mind so often.
That is leading me to what I want to share. Letting go of people-pleasing and allowing yourself to rest, take a break, change your mind and say “no” to things.
Recently, I got a lot of messages on Instagram from other women who have lost their precious babies and I would have loved to answer instantly but sometimes I just felt tired, burnt out, more like journaling or it simply didn’t feel right.
When I would force myself to answer instantly or every day, the thing that I actually love to do from the bottom of my heart, became a burden. It is the same with other tasks. When I have a plan of things to do and I schedule them, as my coaching gurus tell me, I do them without pleasure. The things I describe to be my passion are turning into tasks.
I hear a similar thing with my clients. Women who are grieving the loss of their baby and are mustering the power to taking care of themselves, to plan for the future or to go back to work are feeling guilty for not accomplishing everything on their list.
I often need to remind them that grieving takes a toll on us, takes our energy and is a long process that we can’t magically self-care away. I’m not saying self-care is not important, all I’m saying is that sometimes we just don’t have the energy to do what’s on our list.
I like to work with a menu in every area of life. My self-care menu includes journaling, meditation, stretching, reading and more. My business menu includes writing a post, my book, an article, recording a podcast, video or meditation and more and my study menu that includes all the fun courses I bought and will do in future.
Of course, I have things that I have to, that I commit to, and that I do regularly. I am committed to my 30-day sobriety and to work through the book I am reading on that topic. I am committed to eating healthy and getting enough sleep because I know that is impacting my mood incredibly and I like to be in a good mood. ;)
I am also committed to doing something from my self-care menu at least every second day…the more I allow myself to choose to do what I feel like the more I actually do.
Today, I knew I wanted to work on Heal Your Heart, so I checked in to see what I feel like and it was writing, for now.
As I said, I don’t mind changing my mind and listening to intuition. I want to invite you to do the same because I think they are better when they are coming from a place of joy. If you don’t feel like replying right away, don’t force yourself.
Yes, I still get up in the morning to go to work, I am also on time when I meet a friend and sometimes I don’t know what I want. It’s a process, guys, it’s not always easy.
I just want to invite you to let the guilt out of it.
With light and love
Julia
